Let's ask maths. Four scored today proving, using SCIENCE FACKED, that Crouch is three times better than JD. PC=3JD Now, it's also a SCIENCE FACKED that Pav is basically Crouch only shorter by a ratio of 1.07 and equal in every single other way (Pav's capacity to f**k the English language is offset by Pete's capacity to f**k Algerian prostitutes). So PC=1.07RP Therefore, Pav is 2.8 times the player Jermain is. To continue: Pav has scored 15 in 35 appearances for his international team, while Robbie Keane has 43 from 100, leaving both on a gpg ratio of 0.43! This means that, shockingly, even RK=2.8JD But wait! There's more troubling news for you sick, deluded, possibly closet racist JD fans... Even little Gio compares highly: Both players have played at four clubs, so let's use MATHEMATIC RIGOUR to calculate the average crowd these two pulled (by using the admittedly unrock-solid capacities: you could argue I'm being biased towards JD by assuming Bournemouth and Pompey sold out regularly!). GdS=47k JD=25.75k This results in GdS=1.82JD That's nearly twice as good! So, I think this clears up any misunderstanding, any loose conjecture and all the attendant name-calling and accusations of ignorance. Please bear in mind, this isn't just some ill-thought out crusade based on little more than my own petty prejudices; if you don't like the FACKS staring you in your bloodshot eye, don't blame me, BLAME SCIENCE. BLAME DEFOE. Just don't blame me, OK???