Reports are coming in that the manager virus HRAVB1 from 2011/12/13 has mutated and is infecting Spurs fans around the globe. The new TimboLimbo strain as its being called (HRAVB2) has apparently infected a large percentage of fans and an epidemic code red warning has been released by the WHO. The CDC has apparently traced the outbreak back and found the first victim who has given a statement which is summarised below.
Patient X a lifelong Spurs fan apparently walked into a bar after watching his team comfortably dispatch Swansea City 3-1. The result being the 5th straight away win for Spurs which makes it the best away run in over 50 years. He placed his cockerel crested beanie proudly on the counter and ordered a beer. While the barman pours his drink he notices the crest on his hat & strikes up a conversation.
“Spurs fan eh? What do you reckon on that Tim Sherwood then? ”
The Spurs fan (Patient X) then apparently cleared his throat and attempted an answer but instead of the words coming out he could just manage a long “eeeeerm” he then moved his head to the side and rubbed his goatee with a look of confusion on his face. He then took a breath and had another go at speaking but yet again his mouth refused to cooperate and the best he could come up with is “Well, I, errrr”. He apparently rubbed his beard again and decided to have one last ditched attempt at replying, he took another breath & barely managed to blurt out “Err not bad I suppose mate, time will tell I guess”. He then grabbed his pint and wandered off to sort out a few tunes on the jukebox and as he browsed through the albums he realized something was not right. It was the fourth time he had been asked that question and the fourth time he had struggled to find a better answer.
Patient X said he had always been able to give a succinct, articulate and straight answer to this sort of question and because he couldnt he knew something was wrong. The managerial changes at Spurs in the last decade had made him a bit of an expert on the subject of managers (or so he thought lol). This time it was different, it was more difficult to get a handle on things & much harder to call, my brain was fuzzy he said. He recalled how there were so many conflicting thoughts going round and round in his head about Tim Sherwood. For every negative, a positive and for every down side, a plus side appeared to cancel it out, for every reason he could think of, that the current managerial arrangement shouldn’t work, loads of other reasons popped into his head that reminded him it actually was to a point. He kept thinking it could eventually work out fine, but then he thought …or could it? He also kept telling himself Tim will come good and be a legend then he got so scared at the prospect of it going pete tong he locked himself in the bathroom for three days.
Unfortunately as he later found out, this poor Spurs fan was suffering from a newly discovered deadly manager flu (HRAVB2) called…..TimboLimbo or Timbus Limbus in latin. Doctors describe it as a condition where the patient is stuck between thinking everything is fine with Spurs one minute & other times not having a scooby doo whats going on & worrying if things will be ok in the future. Other classic symptoms include not being able to see further than the end of your nose let alone the end of the season, obsessing over stats to try and relieve the symptoms, sitting in the corner of the room dribbling and repeating the phrase “a few more games and we will know, just a few more games” over and over & even contemplating managercide during the run in.
Latest information coming through from WHO (The World Health Organisation) is that the epicentre of this potential epidemic could be in loads of discussions on the best Spurs forum on the planet (Psst, thats here, where you are reading this article at the moment – www.tottenhamhotspurs.tv ).
Fears among specialists are growing that unless a vaccine or a cure can be found the virus could cost countless lives just as it did during the three previous years.
Most experts believe that there is no cure and we all just have to be patient and wait until it runs its course, possibly the summer or even as late as october but this isnt good news for infected Spurs fans who are suffering from the nauseating symptoms of wondering every day how things are going to pan out.
There is talk of a vaccine for TimboLimbo (HRAVB2)…. Scientists working on it at the Van Gaal institute in Holland say they have had some success in small scale tests but it is yet to be properly stress tested in the field and may not be available for months & even then it would be highly experimental. This has raised fears among some experts who say the risk of trying such an untested drug would be a gamble and a risk they would be reluctant to take.
If you think you may have contracted TimboLimbo (HRAVB2a) or you come into contact with anyone displaying similar symptoms please register with our forum to get specialist treatment and up to date advice and information as we get it.
Meanwhile back in reality…
Seriously, for me the word Limbo sums it up perfectly, I dont think there is a single Spurs fan that knows how this season or our managerial issues will play out. I cant remember it being this hard to call. Tim has done so many good things for us in the short time he has been in charge and if you take our own Spursy aspirations out of the equation for a minute, on its own, Spurs aside, he has exceeded all neutral expectation in my opinion. I cant imagine anyone who isnt a Spurs fan offering anything other than praise for the bloke for what he has accomplished as a first time manager in the premier league. The results, while they are a mixed bag are still pretty impressive when you view them in the context of him coming in as a relative rookie.
He ticks so many boxes, just off the top of my head… Ade is on fire, Soldado has broke his duck, the younger players are coming along nicely and getting regular showings, Im seeing more players playing in their preferred positions, 56.26% win percentage even after going through a pretty tough injury storm, 2.2 goals per game average, 23% conversion rate (at one point recently the highest in the top flight). He is good with a microphone shoved in his face and as yet has not dropped any clangers or ruffled any feathers as a pose to his previous two counterparts. The players only have good things to say about him, I know they have to I suppose but you get the impression he is liked/respected.
That said there is a certain amount of disquiet among the Spurs faithful, murmurings & gripes about some aspects of Spurs under Tim. The playing style & tempo gets mentioned a lot, as does the player motivation (or lack of it in some games). Our creative play (Erikson aside) is also mentioned as an area in need of an overhaul. Our slow build up and the amount of sideways backward passing that has crept into our game is also getting a mention. As is our poor counter attacks (one of my gripes) that dissolve into a back pass far more often than they end up as a chalkable chance, this is especially true against bus parking teams as we dont seem to take efficient advantage of the rarity of the oppo commiting bodies & leaving their trench thinly staffed. I must mention Soldado’s goal was the result of a perfect counter attack against an overly defensive side & it illustrates the point perfectly, we can be lethal on the counter but we have been lacking on this aspect of our game for so long its unreal.
Thing is, are all the gripes above the kind of gripes you would find at most clubs? Or are they indicative of something? Something that wouldn’t be happening if a Van Gaal or a De Boer were running the show? Yet again I find it hard to escape my Limbo and offer a firm yay or nay on that score. Wherever you look, on every football forum on the internet there are disgruntled fans who have a dislike for something the manager does, even managers who have been at the helm for years and years. Various new topics regularly appear that bring up the latest concerns & the following week they are replaced with new ones and the cycle carries on week in week out.
So what do you think? Can you call it? Or are you in the same boat as me and just waiting it out to see how it plays out in the end?
With Chelsea and Arsenal to play in our next two games its plausable that those results might make things a little clearer. It would be interesting to know what the results of those games would mean to you, if we won one of them and lost the other, if we won both or (perish the thought) we lost both… how would it change your view of Tim as our manager?
Post your comments & replies below.
Ta for reading folks.